Category Archive: Columny

Dr. Barry: “The Internet Ruined my Diet”


Male addiction to Internet porn has gotten a lot of attention lately.  Dr. Barry Pascal has—if not invented—discovered a little-known online threat that is just as insidious: virtual gluttony.  (You can find Barry‘s comedy books for sale here.) Enjoy!—EGF   The Internet Ruined my Diet By BARRY PASCAL, Pharm.D. Humorist, Satirist, and All-Around Nice Guy …

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Dr. Barry: “A Bad Left Turn”


Help me welcome back Dr. Barry Pascal, fresh off a checklist of personal housekeeping chores that beset folks of our advancing age.  (He’ll cover those in a future installment; it’s a break for all of us that none of them involved the lower gastrointestinal tract.)  Today, he tackles another pressing social issue requiring his sophisticated …

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“Wherever You Are, Be There”


The California Writer’s Club, Sacramento Branch–of which I am a member–recently sponsored a non-fiction essay contest in which entrants were asked to describe, in 750 words or less, “The Most Influential Person in My Life.” Following is my entry.  As always, your comments are invited.–EGF   “Wherever You Are, Be There” On June 21, 2013, …

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Dr. Barry: “If I Wasn’t a Pharmacist, I Would Have Been a…”


Today, Dr. Barry Pascal recounts the story of how the sight of Mickey Spillane’s obituary transported him into a brief, parallel career in another dimension.  (It’s not clear from his account who had to wipe up the drool off the pharmacy counter.)  You can find Barry‘s humorous works for sale here.—EGF   If I Wasn’t …

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Dr. Barry: Dollars to “Donut Hole”


Today, Dr. Barry Pascal takes a break from his usual comedic low road—well, almost.  He uses his combined experience as: A pharmacist for over three decades; A retired guy with a lot of time on his hands; and An old guy with enough infirmities to require medication to explore and demystify Medicare’s new drug benefits, …

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Dr. Barry: “Uncle Milt” & Strange Fruit


You’re going to enjoy the fruits of the journey Dr. Barry Pascal undertook after seeing a live performance of Billy Crystal’s 700 Sundays.  (It’s especially timely because Billie Holiday’s recording of “Strange Fruit” plays a central role in my story, Meridian.)  You can find Barry‘s humorous works for sale here.—EGF Billy Crystal’s “Uncle Milt” and …

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Dr. Barry: “Behind Every Stupid Man…”


If male stupidity were fossil fuel, Dr. Barry Pascal theorizes today, we could all drive aircraft carriers with clear consciences. The real head-scratcher is why you females allow us to get away with it, with such regularity. You can find Barry‘s other humorous works for sale here.—EGF Our Male-Oriented Society By BARRY PASCAL, Pharm.D. Humorist, …

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Dr. Barry: “I Wish I’D Said That!”


It’s 2013, and Dr. Barry Pascal has words on his mind. Not just any words, but those that move and inspire us–none of which, he reminds us, seem to have been uttered by any Member of Congress elected in the last 10 years. You can find Barry‘s humorous works for sale here.—EGF   I Wish …

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TARP/SchmARP–They’re All Schlemiels


It’s almost Thanksgiving, but Dr. Barry Pascal has other turkeys on his mind–the ones who tanked our retirement accounts, forcing us husbands to retire elsewhere on important connubial occasions. He thinks he knows why, and how we all can maintain a firm fingernail-hold on the fiscal cliff. You can find Barry‘s humorous works for sale …

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Dr. B.: “Just One More Flush!”


Here’s Dr. Barry Pascal, joining us again to wrestle with another great, if overlooked, issue of the day.  (It appears he was overlooking his shorts; crumpled trousers; shoes; and a small bathmat  while composing his thoughts. We can only hope he washed his hands.) You can find Barry‘s humorous works for sale here.—EGF   Just …

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Dr. B’s “History of Me”


Here’s Dr. Barry Pascal, with the last installment in his personal “Death Triology,” in which he worries about how his son, Jonathan, will keep his memory alive after he’s gone–until he realizes his salvation has been assured by his personal reluctance to throw anything away. (Much to his wife’s consternation.) You can find Barry‘s humorous …

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Welcome back Dr. Barry Pascal, with the second installment in his self-anointed “Death Triology”—his usual funny take on a serious subject: arranging for end of life care, proving yet again that your friendly neighborhood pharmacist–even if retired–is the most overlooked and undervalued resource in our health care system.  (As a gentile, I’m not qualified to …

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Dr. B.’s Last Words


Well–we’re coasting down toward Hallowe’en.  While those still living with small people are pushed toward sweet, empty calories, we empty-nesters locked in a mortal stare-down with diabetes tend toward the maudlin.  Here’s my pal, Dr. Barry Pascal, with his take on the best way to be remembered, in stone.  It was originally published in the …

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Dr. Barry–In the House


Here’s another offering from my pal, Dr. Barry Pascal.  It was originally published in the North Valley Community Connection in August.  You can find his humorous works for sale here.–EGF   NEWS RECOVERY By Barry Pascal, Pharm.D. I need to go into rehab …. news rehab!  I have no idea what will happen to me when …

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Remembering Lisa & Stephen


Today, I remember my friend and colleague, Lisa J. Raines, and her husband, Stephen Push, who survives her. Lisa was one of 59 passengers and crew aboard American Airlines Flight 77 who were murdered when five al Qaeda hijackers deliberately crashed that airliner into the Pentagon at 9:37 AM on Tuesday, September 11, 2001.  Inside …

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Mayor Pascal’s Father’s Watch

Putting together last Friday’s post, I remembered that my pal, Dr. Barry Pascal, had written a touching and memorable remembrance of his father a while back.  I got in touch and he has graciously agreed to permit me to reprint it here.  It was originally published in the North Valley Community News on May 24, 2011. …

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Here we go again

Off hiatus, two-plus years later. Things aren’t perfect — but isn’t it wonderful that you don’t have to turn aside, squint, and grit your teeth when the Leader of the Free World opens his mouth? Not just that. Besides the cranial equipment and the grit of galvanizing personal experience, the new sheriff’s got grace, dignity, …

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Doctor King II

[From last time: It’s September 1963…] Three weeks later, Klan cowards counterpunched by immolating four defenseless girls at worship. Six weeks later, Camelot died in Dallas and white America finally felt it; we sophomores heard the principal’s announcement in English class just before lunch. It was so unbelievable we made jokes over our cafeteria trays …

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